"I will sing to the Lord for He has been good to me" - the end of the headache story

"O Lord my God, I cried to Thee for help, and Thou didst heal me." Psalm 30:2

I've been thinking about this post for awhile, and during my quiet time this morning, I was reminded to "ascribe to the Lord the glory due to His name" (Psalm 29:2). This will probably be my last post about the headache saga, and gratefully it is because the Lord has healed me!

A brief recap (if you don't know about the headache saga you can read my posts from 2011 - 2012 and get the full story): in April 2012 I decided to stop taking medicines for the headache because nothing was helping and everything was giving me side effects. It was scary and a relief at the same time. Scary to think I was without a lifeline, and a relief to no longer feel the desperation of trying to fix the pain.

But God showed me His faithfulness and peace like never before. I still struggled with headache pain through 2012, but once Ben and I got married there was a gradual diminishing of symptoms. I think I only missed one or two days of work in 2013, and had only a few other red days. At some point I realized that my head was no longer my first thought in the morning, and I wasn't having to make contingency plans for missing work or events.

Honestly one reason it's taken me so long to write this post is because I was afraid the relief was fleeting and that bringing attention to it would ruin everything. But I've gone months now without incapacitating head pain. I do have some pain on an inconsistent basis but nothing too terrible, and nothing that makes me think it will ever return in full force.

I'm so grateful, and I'm ashamed that I've been so quiet about this release the Lord has granted me. I just want to share a few treasures that God has given me through this process that may be of some comfort or encouragement to someone else.

First, you can trust Him. Even when it seems like He's forgotten you or punishing you, you can trust that His love for you will never change and He is orchestrating everything for your good. (Isaiah 49:13-16, Psalm 119:68, Romans 8:28).

You can withstand more than you think, but you need to give up sooner than you think. I can't tell you how many times I was at my breaking point physically, emotionally, and spiritually. But I don't think God was trying to increase my tolerance for pain and suffering as much as He was trying to teach me to surrender immediately and completely. I always felt like when I said (through tears and gnashing of teeth) "I give up! I don't know what You want from me!" that I was failing and faithless. But He was so quick to sustain me with His Word: "My grace is sufficient for You, for My power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Cor. 12:9).

He's a really good God. His ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and that's hard for us to accept, because sometimes things really hurt and look bad and nonredeemable, but He knows what He's doing and He will never let the righteous fall. You're safe with Him. (Isaiah 55:8-9, Psalm 55:22).

Suffering allows us to see a whole other dimension of God that you can't get to know any other way. Looking back to the month prior to the headache, I was on a mountaintop, spiritually speaking. I was so enamored with God and earnestly wanted to know Him more and bring Him glory with my life. He honored that prayer in way that knocked the wind out of me and took me a long time to comprehend, but I am forever changed and blessed because of it. Don't be afraid to go into the hard places with God.

Thank you for those who walked beside me and carried me through that season of my life. Sorry this update was so long in coming. Your prayers and encouragement and help were invaluable to me and I love you all!