Reposted from my New Daily Persistent Headache blog on MDJunction titled "Standing on the Promises of God." Yesterday marked 18 months since the headache began:
It's a little unbelievable that I've had a headache for 18 months. It's equally unbelievable that I'm still standing. If I'd been told on day one that this was the beginning of a long road of pain, I would've freaked out. I'm thankful that I was spared of that knowledge. If I'd known that there was nothing life-threatening about it and that no medicine or doctor could make it go away, I would've made different decisions, but since I didn't, I ended up letting my parents take me home early last Spring and I got to visit with my grandmother days before she passed away. I'm thankful for that time with her. Also, because of the 20+ prescriptions I had filled, I built relationships with the wonderful pharmacists at Sam's Club pharmacy. I'm thankful for their concern and knowledge and effort on my behalf. I've had to learn to rely deeply on the Lord for strength and wisdom and comfort. I'm so thankful for His faithfulness! I've had to spend more time than I'd like in the bed; it's made me thankful for my job flexibility and the days that I am able to do the work that I love. I've been able to share my story with a lot of people, which has opened doors to share Jesus. I'm thankful that He's using it for His glory! I've experienced and learned a lot about chronic illness, and treatments, and the toll that it takes on the patient and their family. I'm thankful for a solid support system. I've cried more than any other time in my life. I'm thankful for tears to express anguish, pain, frustration, anger, sadness, fear, loneliness, disappointment, exhaustion. I've prayed more than any other time too. I'm thankful for the awesome presence of God and His Spirit that gives voice to my heart even when I don't have words.
If you tell me it will be 18 more months of pain from this point, I can't say I'll be excited about it, but I will be thankful for 18 more months of life and will do my best to steward it well.
"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18
